I had a birthday recently and got some great inspired gifts from friends and family who weren’t sure whether they were allowed to buy new gifts for us or whether they, too, should try to participate in buying nothing new. My mom sent a mixed box with a cute second-hand dress for me and a full box of second-hand clothes and shoes for Joey, our one-year-old. My friend Ariana got me a subscription to a beautiful magazine, Dumbo Feather. Another friend Lily decided to do something with all the free lemons in her backyard and cheap strawberries this season…she made me frozen homemade margaritas, which is awesome for someone like me, always looking for an excuse to celebrate or have a cocktail! My mother-in-law got me a set of gift-wrapping gear…wrapping paper, ribbons, tape, etc…perfect, since these are things I cannot buy new this year. And my husband got me a fun second-hand board game, cooked a beautiful homemade dinner and hosted a dinner party for me, and took us away for an overnight to a beautiful B&B. I love that people were thoughtful with their gifts and thought about how out of all the aspects of “buy nothing new year,” gift giving has been the largest source of anxiety to date. So, I thought I’d share some of the tips we’ve picked up along the way.
Some of the adaptive techniques we’ve picked up so far include:
1. Buy an Experience—people love this, no matter who they are! Here are some of the cool experiences we’ve given as gifts lately: surfing lessons for our 12-year-old daughter’s birthday, high tea for my mother and mother-in-law, a beautiful B&B at a scenic spot overlooking the bay for my birthday this year, and improvisation classes for my husband for his birthday, so he can now channel his yearning for centre stage and jokes he cannot manage to contain into a creative forum where his humor and love of attention will certainly be welcome.
Surf lessons for Silky’s 12th birthday
Peter’s birthday gift: Improvisation Theater classes. We wrote this message and wrapped each word separately, and he had to unwrap each word and piece together the cohesive message to decode his gift experience: “You are invited to use your quick wit and humour for improv classes…”
2. Buy something second-hand and personalize it—so far we’ve taken this tack on old photo albums, personalized into a “book” for Fathers’ Day, picture frames that we’ve painted and personalized with our own photos, and food items, like taking store-bought raw cashews and homemade honey from our friends at Small Giants to contribute honey-roasted cashews for a communal lunch. We now see opportunities to use the op-shops and things we have lying around the house as raw materials for “upcycling” into something new and cool to give away.
Charlie’s pages for the Fathers’ Day book we made out of a $1 photo album we bought from the op shop and customized. Each child decorated pages with photos, messages, and art work.
3. Find a second-hand gift—we’ve found awesome kids’ toys, cookbooks, craft books, maternity clothes, regular clothes, a wicker picnic basket, and antique jewelry, amongst other little finds. And, by the way, I’m hosting a “hen’s night” or bachelorette party for my sister-in-law this weekend and picked up a few ‘prizes’ for games at an op-shop for around $1 each. I also mentioned the party to a friend and she offered to give me her old bachelorette party prizes that have never been used but work well for the reaction…ahem, fuzzy handcuffs anyone?
4. Shop your own closets—one of the new ways of giving gifts that we’re trying is both gifting and lending from our own stock of stuff. For my friend, Heather, who just had a beautiful baby girl, we found a cool second-hand xylophone and also lent her our infant swing that saved me and gave me a safe place to put my baby during her first three months of life. Heather was really receptive to the gift idea of borrowing something that she’ll only need for a few months and then she can give back without collecting clutter. We can hold onto it for the next friend and/or next baby (yikes!). Another nice gesture, I think, is to gift something of your own that you really have loved having and using but no longer use. I’ve started parting with books I love (which used to be very difficult), and it’s nice to give your copy of a book you know your friend would love as a thoughtful gift. I also don’t see a problem with giving old jewelry, old clothes, or anything else you find at home if you can see it as something your loved one would really love. Something to think about for our collection of vases hiding at the back of our cupboards.
Joey in her infant swing, with our faithful guard dog, Bruce, keeping watch. These bulky items make great gifts to lend for short periods…the swing, that is, not the dog.
5. Do something thoughtful—remember those coupons from kids to parents saying things like, “one voucher for nice behavior” or “ticket to help clean the house” or “breakfast in bed coupon”? How about offering a night of babysitting? A guitar lesson? A cooking class? Home-made freezer dinners? While we’ve stuck to the idea of the kid coupons so far, we’re brainstorming the talents we share as gifts…I think I know a few people who would really appreciate a few hours of babysitting! That is a quality and expensive gift item! The trouble is, you have to ensure the person who receives these gifts is apt to take you up on the offer, otherwise, it’s a bit like giving a creative card or knowing your gift certificate will expire without being cashed in.
One of Oscar’s pages for the Fathers’ Day book…note his “one ticket to the Dude Ranch” suggests he’s inheriting his father’s sense of humor. The kids also include tickets for massages, breakfast in bed and other sweet activities.
6. Cash is king—the kids will remind me that the ultimate gift is cash. Apparently in their grade school and high-school circuits, cash is the only gift kids exchange these days, with a going rate of $20 per kid. They all hit their parents up each party and swap cash. I think it’s so impersonal, but then again, how else do most kids get their pocket money until they can get a job? My husband makes it more interesting by tapping into his foreign currency collection and giving a combination of foreign bills that add up to that person’s age, such as in my recent niece’s 21st birthday, where she got a combination of something like 10 baht, 10 rupees, and 1 euro. As an aside…not everyone is into currency collection, honey! It is very thoughtful, though J. I’m sure we’re heading for many more years of kids’ swapping cash at birthday parties, and that’s fine.
7. Food for foodies—I love the idea of baking cookies, roasting nuts, mulling spiced cider or wine, or sharing an experience of going out for dinner or drinks as a gift. Food, drink and celebration are at the heart of any occasion, especially if you can host an interesting gourmet dinner party in someone’s honor. It may not be the gift you’re used to giving, but it is a very generous gift of time, thought, preparation, and love. So, if all else fails, it’s nice to eat, drink and be merry.
My favorite type of gift: a night away in a beautiful spot for my birthday…food, wine, and spa bath included in our trip an hour outside of town…better than a pair of slippers!
Finally, I have to say that it’s amazing what happens when you let people know what it is that you need. I mentioned we had run out of sticky tape, and, bam! a roll of sticky tape appeared…my sister-in-law left it for us after I hosted her Hen’s party. But, I’ve noticed that if I mention what it is we’re struggling to go without, people often chime in with suggestions, donations, or items they’re happy to lend. I love this world where it’s OK to trade, borrow, inherit, and gift things that go round-and-round our community rather than from cradle to grave in one short linear journey. Here’s to longevity and another reason to celebrate.
All of that said, we’re still open to suggestions if anyone has great experience or second-hand gift ideas. We’ve got milestone birthdays (a 50th, an 80th…), weddings and other affairs requiring gifts on our calendar, and we’d love to hear how other people have refined the art of gift-giving with a bit of creativity.
Buy Nothing New Year 